Throwback again

Throwback time yes, this one has a special place in my heart always <3 Model, mood… I can really see me in that photograph.

Tomorrow I will have a newborn shoot in the morning, and today I have put my gear and props together. I am quite pedantic… Surprise surprise :D I check everything many times usually day before, and in the morning of the shoot too. I have once forgot one of my lights home… but I managed without it and I don`t think anyone noticed my face when I realized that one is missing :D Or my game face was just too good…

By the way,  I am getting bit nervous, there is a month until my vacation! It`s getting closer! I already tested yesterday how my cameras and lenses are going to fit my  carry-on baggage ( is that a right word???) and how much it`s going to weight :D

And hey, if you have been into Vancouver or near there, and have good travelling tips, sightseeing, anything… please feel free to message me, I would love to have some inside information ;)





Supergirls don`t cry

“And then she’d say, “It’s okay
I got lost on the way
But I’m a supergirl
And supergirls don’t cry”  song Supergirl by Anna Naklab

Yes, new week and yes I am alive… Maybe it was good just take a little breather. I was getting little bit cranky before the weekend, but had a fun shoot with Lovely Judy on Sunday and it got me better again.

I just wondered the other day again that why do I often find people as “friends”,  who puts me down? Do I intentionally  seek people who are strong, and makes me feel like I am just a nobody? Or are they really strong at all? Is that their way to hide their weaknesses? Or am I just easy target to be bitchy at? Yes this is me thinking and overthinking…

Maybe I should just stop thinking too much and remember that Supergirls don`t cry… or do they?




Till the light shines again

Sorry for not posting before this week… I have tried something “new” methods to not start to feel low again. And it has gone pretty well. Simply,I have listened much about music which makes me happy, visited a good friend, called to another good friend, simple things… and little less computer, facebook etc… I have done work yes a bit, but this week has been quite easy week, and I almost got depressed because few shoots were cancelled, but those are things that I cannot change, and those wasn`t about me, so… why worry. November is one of my “slow” months, so why do I get nervous and depressed about the things I already knew.

I thought I tell you guys 20 songs which take me to my happy place (and now I don`t include Poets of the Fall songs), makes me smile, makes me wanna dance… there are about 1000 that kind of songs but I am just lazy to write those all down. And these are just happy songs, not necessarily really meaningful songs otherwise, so don`t laugh! Or do laugh, it makes you feel good too :P So here it goes…

  1. Every you every me / Placebo
  2. Don`t stop believin`/ Journey
  3. Nothing`s gonna stop us now/ Starship
  4. Don`t you forget about me/ Simple Minds
  5. Love Shack/ The B52`s
  6. Into the groove/ Madonna
  7. The time of my life/ Bill Medley&Jennifer Warnes
  8. You`ve got the love/ Florence+the Machine
  9. Sex on fire/ Kings of Leon
  10. Locked out of heaven/ Bruno Mars
  11. Paradise City/ Guns N`Roses
  12. Mercy/ Duffy
  13. Beautiful Day/ U2
  14. Moves Like Jagger/ Maroon 5
  15. Ms. Jackson/ Outkast
  16. Say it right/ Nelly Furtado
  17. Empire state of mind/ Alicia Keys&Jay Z
  18. U can`t touch this/ MC Hammer
  19. The Seed/ The Roots
  20. Grace Kelly/ Mika

Now put on Youtube or some other music player on, and just smile and dance ;) I will continue my “happy training” as well <3




And my nominations for the award are 1. Quadri della vita 2. Harrie Nijland 3. My world on mute 4. MarcusDilano Photography 5. Rob Moses Photography



Flashback time

Yes flashback time <3 And this is one my favorites <3

“What consumes your mind, controls your life” – yes there`s quote which is so true, so I am turning all the negativity to positive energy for the weekend, and hopefully it will be a good weekend with work and stuff. I wish to have a snow soon, but that might still be too much to ask, just rain rain rain and darkness… which pretty much has ruined all my projects :D But the snow&light will come.

Have a wonderful weekend, try to stay positive, be with your loved ones… and remember we are stronger than we think! <3


Make me fly

“You lift my spirit, take me higher, make me fly,
Touch the moon up in the sky, when you are mine
You lift me higher, take my spirit, make it fly,
Where all new wonders will appear” lyrics by Poets of the Fall (youtube Lift music video)

And spite of every critic, I just love sometimes to play with textures and with my imagination. Like here with this beautiful model of mine <3

In the minute I opened this photo in PS, I just knew I have to try this. Explore my creativity. I had just watched some tutorials about using brushes in Photoshop, which is something I haven`t really used much before, and now I had to try. Especially my vision was to get like inkblot test kinda of a feeling into it ( I know I am weird :P ) If you have time, look at the Poets of the Fall`s Lift music video, so you can see what I mean. That song has been my fav since it came and the music video too, inspires me quite of lot! You should see me now, I am listening to that song again right now ;) I am starting to be pretty good at dancing with my chair :D

But like many times, this photograph has little bit that darker and deeper meaning to myself too. Reminds me of how I was like when I was in the hospital years ago.





The lost lake

Sorry guys, I got little missing last week… I had planned posts here, but after I post my latest photo to my FB page, somebody really really broke my spirit, and ruined my quite good mood.  And I got lots of love here ( thanks to Danielle and ) and all of you guys, which is so amazing and I am very truly thankful to each and everyone of you. But maybe I was so fragile at that moment, and this person just happened to give his rude comments just in the right moment, and I really lost all my positive thinking towards photography and everything. Why is that bad comments is so much easier to believe than the good ones? And why the hell we care about what others have to say about us or our work?

I am actually very positive person. I tell honestly here about my insecurities, or that our life with my spouse is quite of struggle almost everyday. I hope I don`t complain too much, and if I tell something here, it is just my way to deal with the life. Like my photography is much about channeling my own emotions, and photography usually makes me feel good. Usually. But there are moments when it gives me more grief than joy. Not the photography itself, but all that other stuff what is nowadays quite a necessity, like social media.

I believe in kindness, but sometimes there are moments, that I wonder why… what`s the point… it usually just gets me hurt. And after 5 minutes I am just normal kind me :D

So here I am again, my kind self and new week ahead <3