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Gone with the wind

“If you stumble,

make it part of the dance” 

Yeah, and it`s Friday… I do not know should I release my “inner-bitch” now or not. This week has been… in many ways really really good, wonderful feedback from the client, few more bookings for the next summer etc, …and then quite lot of disappointment, work related and and otherwise.

Maybe I just be quiet and take this disappointment and embrace it … and will make it part of my dance😉 Sounds like a plan, right???

Have a wonderful weekend, do something what makes you feel good❤

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Don`t fade away

I have started this week with somehow more zen feeling. I did not slept much during the weekend, and yesterday evening when I got back home from shoot, I almost fainted several times. And there I was last night lying on the kitchen floor around 2 am… My dog hurt his leg few days ago, and he was feeling sick too, he was lying beside me. So there we were, both little sick. And billion thoughts went on and on in my head…

But, I got an epiphany😉 Or I got many of those… one regarding my career and passion for photography, but it fits in all aspects of my life. And I think that has been keeping me so down for most of this year. And I think it has been my flaw all my life. ( I have probably mentioned this before😀 ) I have to let lose! Not to care so much what others are thinking of me. If someone don`t like me, it is their choice. And related to this… which is somewhat controversial for me… I don`t have to always be the kind one and forgive and forget. If someone treats me badly, I am aloud to get mad or sad. If I am always apologizing and being scared, I will fade away. I will lose me. And I am not saying that I just stop being kind, and turn into monster but hey, you know my point❤

So that was me, mumbling nonsense again😀 But hey, weekend was still pretty awesome, shoots went well, weather was great and I just felt that I was doing exactly what I want to do❤ I hope your weekend were good too!

 

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After the rain throwback

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Throwback to few years back❤ One shoot which will be in my heart forever.

I am having a melt down because one of my lenses is most definitely broken, and I don`t know when I can afford to buy a new one or fix the old one or whatever… and it`s pouring rain kind of a day today, and my body is aching all over…But… that amazing girl in that photo will be coming back in front my camera this weekend!!! How amazing is that??? So I don`t care the negatives now, I am just happy about the weekend. Saturday I`m going to shoot some wedding photos and Sunday I will have a little road trip to see her. Yes. Not a bad weekend coming up. Although the weather might ruin my Saturday`s shoot, but… I am trying to perform my magic tricks to make the rain go away… I just need an hour or so😉

What are your plans for the weekend??? tell me some😉

 

 

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I`ll stand by you

“Oh why you look so sad
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I’ve seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you” Lyrics by Pretenders

Hey, it is Monday again, and August is half way going… Where did this summer go??? It`s not yet totally over but I can feel the Autumn in the air, lurking and maybe making me more relaxed. I have been working, and now almost done all the editings, few personal projects and something new to go, but the little jam I had there, is now done. And more shoots to come, but I am now really satisfied, that I can now take a little breather and relax a bit too. Next thing what will most certainly give me grey hair ( I don`t have any😀 ) is to focus a bit more for my marketing and figuring out which way I am going to continue my business. I would love to focus more on few things, but I think that is not possible now, or might not be ever.

This amazing couple… they had their wedding last month. She has been my model now for about 3 years and and I was so so honored that she booked me as their wedding photographer as soon as they set the date. I felt blessed. And still do. I can tell you that yes, I did cry at their wedding❤ I just was so happy for them!

Let`s have an awesome week and I hope you guys are all feeling well❤

(By the way, that song is one of my favorite ballads <3)

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It`s the little things in life

Hi there, is there anyone still out there??? Sorry guys… I was so into my own thoughts last week, (and of course all the technical issues on top of that, I couldn`t post on my fb page, and Instagram ) I was about to write every day… but… I just could not say the things I wanted out loud. You know what I mean? That you have all the things going through your mind and you do not know quite how to put it. You would love to tell someone what goes through your head, but at the same time you are telling yourself that you are just stupid, nobody wants to listen to your problems, or whatever. So I chose to be silent. I am not any wiser today, only my technical issues are now solved (keeping my fingers crossed that it stays that way). I am not feeling really any better, or worse, but maybe I am more myself again. Maybe I am bit stronger?

I have worked, but yes, I went to movies and liked the new Jason Bourne movie. I just love Matt Damon…😉 And went for a little shopping, just little something new clothes for the Autumn… and did find a wonderful prop for a photo shoot. Not big things, but something fun… something else than work. Sometimes we do need some free time too.

I hope you are feeling well❤ And let`s try to remember those little things in life.. those things that makes us smile. It is not always easy, but those things are there.

 

 

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Sweet dreams

We shot a bridal boudoir session with my muse last month. She wanted to give her groom some photos of herself and so I was really excited when she asked me to do something like this with her. And I am really happy with the results, and also she loved them too, which is the best part!

Monday I was feeling little bit down, like you probably sensed that, and then it has got little bit better. New model contacted me yesterday, to collaborate, and I am a quite excited about that too. We are doing a shoot end of next month… how can I wait again???😀 But yes, I have some work to do before that😀 And booked a wedding for a September 2017. I got fever and flu yesterday, and even that does not bother me so much now. Although I am editing little bit slower than usual, because my head and eyes hurts but yes, this week might be really good🙂

I hope you guys are doing well❤

 

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Yellow my world

Let`s start this week with a hint of a yellow, color that usually is not one of my favs.

I feel like that everything I do goes somehow wrong. I am kind to people, and I end up getting used. And like I told in my last post, that I often feel alone even I do have friends… yes, weekend made me question about that too. And wonder what is wrong with me, am I mean to people without noticing that myself?  I try to always listen people whenever/whatever they have going on in their lives. I am usually first to offer my help, if somebody is in need of some help. And I am a bit naive because I genuinely believe that those people would be there for me too.

Maybe I am in the wrong path, and been all along, and maybe I have to find a new path… I don`t know. Work is the same… every time I feel like that yes, now I have finally done something really great/beautiful/learned new etc… and then… someone just washes that away in seconds. I could not ever go and criticize for example one of my friends work, let`s say to a waiter (just pure example)or tell her that somebody else is much better waiter than her.

This is just me again thinking, and overthinking… and wondering is there ever my time to shine. And I don`t mean that in the way that I would need some glory or spotlight. No. I just want to be happy. And without the guilt of being happy.

“In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart”

-shorter version of a quote by Anne Frank

Let`s have a good week❤